The key in her hand felt firm and steady and good because it opened the door to her world. After she slid it into the keyhole she leaned automatically against the door. She pushed with her upper body while pulling it with her left hand. She turned the key with a click. The door opened, revealing the dark entrance into the star shaped corridor where she used to sit for hours.
Die Erkenntnis, dass der Gegenstand unserer Untersuchung und Erforschung, wenn wir ihn freilassen, seinerseits auf uns zukommt and doing so in its rageous, most powerful form. It is part of the respect that will remind us, that the entity of desire, hate, interest at its most benign is an entity with the same capacities as us.
The enlightenment is therefore not only on my side.
The encounter with the goat. The one with the patterned fur, the tiny one I was approaching, she came curiously sniffing and bleating towards me on her fragile newborn legs, which unexpectedly set the rest of the flock in motion towards me. I stood and reached my hand towards the newborn’s curly head.
Instantly I saw myself surrounded by dozens of bleating goats –
the boldest coming very close until they started: Sie senkten den Kopf um mich von dem Jungtier weg zu Boxen.
I remember feeling as if I were standing behind glass, while an exaggerated, malignant figure was drawn over me from the other side. A figure so powerful, they could read my mind, reverse my breath, deteriorate the very genesis of reality. From where had this sudden, impenetrable separation come from? I lifted the smallest goat towards me and cradled it in my arms. I could not speak, I could not move. The air in my lungs thinned. The drawing spoke for me.
I stared to my left, out the window and saw clouds, like passive ships, roll past. Then and there, I orphaned a small, glittering part of myself. I cast it out of the window to be taken in by the clouds. I succumbed. The sky was the color of a birthday. What part had I played in this total dispossession of my known kind? It was remarkable how familiar the distortion felt. As if in the contraction of a massive invisible womb, everything I experienced up till that point had prepared me to quietly and efficiently give up my own ghost.
After she had watched the shadows cast on the walls for an hour
or so, suspiciously moving and twisting at times at others still and pulsing or maybe that was only the movement of her own blood and breath, she crawled in the bed in the only dark corner of the room, where no shadows at any moment of the night were to be cast and fell asleep, her right hand flat on the chill wall of the night.
Text by Moriah Askenaizer and Ella CB
Moriah Askenaizer (*1992, Los Angeles, Kalifornien, USA)absolvierte 2019 ihr Studium an der Hochschule für Bildende Künste - Städelschule. Von 2010-2014 studierte sie an der Cooper Union School of Art, New York. Sie lebt und arbeitet in Berlin.
Ella CB (*1988, Hamburg) studiert an der Hochschule für Bildende Künste - Städelschule. Von 2011-2015 studierte sie Biochemie und Philosophie an der Humboldt-Universität zu Berlin und der Technischen Universität Berlin. Sie lebt und arbeitet in Frankfurt am Main und Berlin.
18.09. – 09.10.2020
Darmstädter Landstraße 17
60594 Frankfurt am Main